Thursday, December 2, 2010

Soy Lesbiana..

Sesión de terapia de grupo. Cuatro pacientes reunidos.

El terapeuta les pide que se presenten, que digan cual es su actividad y que comenten por qué la tienen.

- El primero dice: - Me llamo Mario, soy médico dentista porque me gusta que la gente tenga los dientes sanos.

- El segundo dice: - Me llamo Jorge. Soy arquitecto porque me gusta que la gente viva en casas bonitas.

- La tercera dice: - Me llamo Maria y soy lesbiana. Soy lesbiana porque me gustan las tetas, las nalgas y me enloquece el sexo con mujeres.

- El cuarto que era gallego dice: - Soy Manolo, y hasta hace unos minutos estaba convencido que era albañil, pero acabo de descubrir que soy lesbiana.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

24 to Always Remember &1 to Never Forget

1. Your presence is a present to the world.
2. You're unique and one of a kind.
3. Your life can be what you want it to be.
4. Take the days just one at a time.
5. Count your blessings, not your troubles.
6. You'll make it through whatever comes along.
7. Within you are so many answers.
8. Understand, have courage, be strong.
9. Don't put limits on yourself.
10. So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
11. Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
12. Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
13. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
14. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
15. Don't take things too seriously.
16. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
17. Remember that a little love goes a long way.
18. Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
19. Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
20. Life's treasures are people . . . together.
21. Realize that it's never too late.
22. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
23. Have health and hope and happiness.
24. Take the time to wish upon a star.

And don't ever forget . . . For even a day . . . How very special you are.

Friday, November 26, 2010

What about ATTITUDE....

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and ask him for a Phone Call.

Shop-owner replied Sweety this is not a STD, but you can do one call.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy.

The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm beach, Florida."

Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said," Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"

======== jajaja === too much.... =======

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Just see the link, please..

Vídeo grabado simultáneamente en 21 países, dando como resultado esta maravilla. Ojala te agrade. Para mi gusto, simplemente excepcional. No compartirlo sería privarte de la oportunidad de apreciar este bello musical. Saludos. Clica el link. Y SI YA LO VISTE !! DISFRUTALO OTRA VEZ.

Right person for right the job

How to choose right person for the job?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed room with an open window,Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation

If they are counting the Bricks,Put them in the accounts Department.

If they are recounting them....Put them in auditing .

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks,then Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order,Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the Bricks at each other,Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping,Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks Into pieces,Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle,Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day,Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the Window,Put them on strategic Planning.

And then last but not least......If they are talking to each other and not a single brick Has been Moved.

Congratulate them and put them In top management

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fried eggs...

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Please Leave...

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments.

She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea....

He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood.

Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?" about twenty five people stood up.

The He smiled and said

- "Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party".

========= jajajajaja ========

Woman Says vs Man Hears

Is been a long time since the last time that i wrote, but im really busy finishing the school, sorry for the people that read this "PoS" blog....

So here is a litter joke: "What a woman says and What a man hears"

A woman says...

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
Don't do laundry right now!

A man hears...

Blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
Blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
Blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!

=========== jejeje ========= yeah =========== <3 ===

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Chu tu seul a soir

Le gars que tu connais y'est plus dans le miroir,
Celui qui le remplace y'est pas beau à voir.
Ton absence me fait mal, le silence me fait peur.
Le destin m'a frappé quand je regardais ailleurs. Hey!

Y'a un nuage qui pleut sur ma vie.
C'est pas moi qui l'invente, c'est mes yeux qui l'ont dit.
J'ai serré mes vieux rêves dans le fond d'un tiroir.
J'ai remis mon air bête...

Chu tu seul à soir,
À regarder notre histoire,
Ce que j'ai pas voulu voir.
Chu tu seul à soir.
J'ai enfin compris ce que j'avais...
Pis ce qui te manquait.

Quand t'es partie, t'avais tes raisons,
T'as fait tes valises, t'as défait mes illusions.
Moi j'essayais de voler avec des ailes de bois.
Dire que je me demandais pourquoi je volais bas.

Pis le gars que tu connais y'est plus dans le miroir.
Mais pendant que je te parle toi tu m'entends pas.
Si pour moi c'est nouveau, toi tu connaissais ça.
Avec mon air bête...

Chu tu seul à soir,
À regarder notre histoire,
Ce que j'ai pas voulu voir.
Chu tu seul à soir.
J'ai enfin compris ce que j'avais...
Pis ce qui te manquait.

par: les Vilains Pinguoins

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Hey... do you all remember this guy? George Laraque, the ex pro hockey player who became the dude in the commercial for TekSavvy? Well now he's been named the Deputy Leader of the Green Party...

That means, oh yes it does, that he will be running in the next election to be part of the Canadian government!

Motherfucker he's awesome!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

L - is for LATINA

I know this is usually Wendy's thing... But well I figured I'd chime in and do at least one letter in the whole alphabet...

1- Hot, sexy and sensual chicks who have the nicest asses, nice curves everywhere and look good in everything and best of hair (well the most of us)...
"Nosotras si que somos lo que se puede decir sexy!"

2- The sexiest women in da world!
"damn dat latina mami is sexxy as hell"

3- The hottest women on the face of the earth. No other woman comes close. They have tan-mocha skin, dark black hair, the best asses and curves ever. Not to mention some seriously addictive pussy. Their asses are amazing. They are possibly the only woman that can still be attractive when over weight.

4- A lady with Hispanic roots. They can look either fine, good, cute, beautiful or sexy. They have a chance to become the most beautiful human creatures on this planet.
"He began to get himself ready, and as he sat in his chair, the latina came out in her sexy lingerie. He was ready to have the best night of his life."

5- Every man on Earth wishes he had a Latina by his side.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

letter k- "Kinky"

1-Foot-sucking, rubber wearing, pee on me, fruit-fuckin', candlewax drippin', long fingernail scrapin', tossed salad eatin',multiple partner havin', she-male, oil-drenched, chocolate sauce, whipped cream covered,vibrator usin',dress-up,banned in 30states type of sex.

-We had kinky sex on the patio last night!
-Really? What's a patio?

2- Engaging in some form of BDSM or enjoying nonstandard sexual or sensual stimulation. The opposite of vanilla.

-My boyfriend and I are sort of kinky. Last night was great, but I still have rope burns on my wrists.

3-a tendency to like things, sexually or not, that may not apeal to a majority; open to experimentation.

-wow, Gozde sure is kinky whenever she gets near ahmet.

4-Besides describing hair, rope, and sex, "kinky" can also be used as a general word for acknowledging something someone has said as being interesting, neat, cool, awesome, groovy, gnarly, sweet, etc. It can also be used to mean okay, in the sense that you are agreeing with someone. It should always be said in monotone, even if you're excited. It should also be pronounced as fast as possible.

-Hey, we're all going over to Carl's house after the movie.

-I got us front row tickets for {insert band here}!
-Kinky. (note that you don't exclaim it, even though you are excited; simply say it in monotone)

5-someone who loves mad crazy hot sweaty hardcore sex; try-sexual,will try nething once; sexy;vixen;freak,ie;kinky ie; me silly!

-xoxo *Marilyn* -muah- xoxo

6-Usually something you haven't tried yet. Other times, twisted tightly.

-You want me to shove this where, while I'm doing you from behind? - That's kinky!

-Look at the kinky fro on that dude!

7-A kinky person is a person who can make other ppl think dirty things about them or a kinky person is a person who thinks dirty, basicly it consists of these items

-Gag balls, whipped cream, red bras, chocolate syrup,and all other seductive items...

-And all types of sexy, anal sex, vaginal sex, licking sex, sucking and etc...

-Nate was wearing a Kinky bra yesterday! ;)

8-kinky (kin-ky) it is a type of furry animal. something hairy, puffy, fluffy, poofy, furry.

-woah!!that thing is kinky

9-Kinky is when u have nipple rings,jump starter,car battery,and a person u trust..then u get jump started...or..TESERD!!!!!

-When a guy named WILL gets to excited n dreams about things!!!!!

10-the state of unsaturated fats, due to a lack of one or more hydrogen atoms on carbon skeleton; results in fluidity at room temperature

-The kinky state of unsaturated fats makes them better for you, becasue they will not bind to your arteries.

11-Sexual practices that many people view as wild, unusual, or extreme. Definitions of this word vary from person to person; someone might think wearing a red bra is kinky, or having sex with the lights on, but someone else will classify kinky as being suspended from the ceiling, whipped, and gagged.

Guys are often surprised to discover that quiet girls are the kinkiest. But they're only quiet because they're imagining having lots of kinky sex.

-I went out with this librarian the other night, and I thought she'd be prude, but at the end of the night she let me tie her up and spank her. She was nice and kinky

well this is all for today, see ya!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Letter J - "Jesus"

1-Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people(christians).

-Jesus:be nice to others.

2-The dude who mows my lawn.

-Jesus, you missed a spot.

3-A pretty cool guy whose reputation has been run down by his horrible fan-club.

-Used by the said fan-club as an excuse to do whatever they decide is “right.”

Dude: “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car???”
Other dude: “Jesus’ will.”

4-Jesus lived a really long time ago in the Holy Land. He taught a lot of people to be nice to each other. He told stories, called parables, to help people understand about heaven and

5-The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.

-In the court...
Judge: Danapal, you have a debt.
Danapal: Yes,I am sorry, it won't happen again.

Jesus walks in and hands the judge the money I owe.

Danapal: Thank you Jesus!

6-A good answer for pretty much anything.

Billy: Hey Tom, what's the answer to #2?
Tom: Jesus.

7-One of the good guys.

-Apparantly Jesus saves people like Spider-man.

8-A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

9-Jesus, is a cool guy who is cooler than nature, enjoys long romantic walks on water, and doesn't get all big-headed about being God's son.

Girl: So what do you like to do?
Jesus: I enjoy long romantic walks on water.
Girl: Only Jesus can do that.
Jesus: Bitch, I am Jesus!

well this is all for today... maybe we will continue discosting this chapter on next class...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Did you know..

Oh MY God, did you know that there are people that actually read this blog!!!! not misunderstand i know that there are some people that read it, por example: Erlis in Cuba, but i didnt know that there where people that read it in Canada, did you hear that!! CANADA, someone ask exactamente when i was gonna post the next letter, that why did i stop after the letter H, ohh it made really happy(but my friend just for you to know i post letter I like 10 days ago!,but lets forget about that litter incident) :) and just for you to know i havent post the "J" because i cant fine a good definition to it, but im still working just wait a litter more, well i say bye for now...muaaaa
Happy, happy...happy, happy, happy...Happy!!!...Happy!!!!...Happy!!!!!
(that is my litter song)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Letter I - "INTERNET"

1-A vast tundra of knowledge, now corrupted and slowly imploding on itself. Those caught on the outskirts enter a void of stupidity and insecurity. Eventually, it will completely cave in on itself, and then explode with such force, we will all be sent to an information oblivion. Random bits of intelligence will float amongst vast oceans of idiocy, and all of man kind will commit suicide in a futile effort to repent for creating such a weapon of mass destruction. God will not accept their sacrifice, and everyone will go to hell, where Satan will get pissed off at the extreme overpopulation of his facilities, and send everyone to someplace copletely unihabitable, like Utah.

-The four horsemen of the apocalypse crashed my unix server. Lol internet.

2-A web of confusion, dismay and pornography.

-I did a search for 'World History' on the internet and I received 500 results: all pornography.

3-A world wide network of computers all linked together over the TCP/IP protocol. The Internet allows people to communicate in real time from different continents. Someone in South America can have an online chat with someone in Russia.

All manner of news and information can be accessed through search engines such as Google. You usually use the Internet via the World Wide Web. You use a Web browser such as Internet Explorer or Firefox to look things up.The Internet is not without its problems. Viruses and spyware abound and can major mess up your computer if it becomes infested with them. You need a firewall and antivirus program for safety.

4-the what?

5-A media form that politicians, religious nuts, and soccer moms have tried in vain to control. Whatever is posted here is free for the taking, whether it be MP3s, porn, warez, or software.

-The sex industry owns the Internet now.

6-A hair net worn by two old women who can't afford a single hair net. They have fallen through the cracks in the Bush Medicaid drug program, and cannot even afford drugs in Canada.

-Maria and Soila took turns holding the cane, but the internet was something they both had to deal with.

7-A net used to capture rogue interns.

-Somebody should have used the internet on Monica Lewinsky. They only used the presidnet in a nuclear emergency


sorry, sorry, sorry... i really haven't have time to write anything in a long time, actually I'm trying to finish my school in less time, by my count, if i take a lot of classes now i can finish by December, i take out a year!! and that is a lot.
i just wanted you to know that if you don't see me writing is not because I dont care about my blog, is because i have a lot of exams :(
but well i will try to start writing at least with my dictionary, as soon i get my hans on the internet again

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

So.... TekSavvy an independent ISP here in Montreal decided they were going to use George Laraque as a spokesperson. Nothing wrong with using a spokesperson... But for those of you who don't know Laraque let me give you a little bit of background: he was signed to a 1.5 million dollar per year contract with the Montreal Canadiens to be an enforcer, he walked away from the team after one year because well, he became a vegan and got tired of fighting... Now he's so hard up that he's not letting the language barrier stop him, or the fact he, the former heavyweight champion of the NHL, looks like a complete tool in this commercial.

I mean look at him, if it wasn't so funny it would be sad.

Jappanese Eye Test

Today I'm putting a image that a friend email me a couple of day... well... just read and follow what it says...

the funny thing is that after i did it, i realize that i didn't need to do that to my poor eyes, putting it a litter faraway and you can see fine...
but well, if I'm not %^#!*&~`#... i wouldn't be Wendy, jejeje

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Saturday, May 1, 2010

This is muchacho enfermo...

If you wanna know how does muchacho enfermo looks, you only have to see this commercial, i think he forgot to take it out of the internet, so hurry up and see it before he takes it out, jejejeje, APOBECHA!!!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Chuck... wait for it... Norris

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Thought of the day

"I was trying to make mashed potatoes from laundry detergent"

Monday, April 26, 2010

Letter H-"Hentai"2

Hentai is animated pornography showcasing women who have better bodies than any real women (yet have weird hairstyles and hair-colours) and men with enormous penises.

Every character in a hentai has body features several times better than any real person. 14 year old boys with 15 inch erections. 14 year old school girls with breasts better than most 21 year olds. The thinner the woman, the bigger the breasts.

For women, their is no such thing as a flat-chested no-breasted woman - at least in professional hentai anyway. Their breasts are perfect and natural - not tainted by surgery with scars and abnormals. They are perfect. Hentai is perfection.

Hentai can involve anything sexual. Lesbians, bisexuals, homosexuals, bondage, underwater, fairies, humans and animals, orgies, oral sex,aural sex, anal sex, naisal sex, S&M, slavery, dildos, strap-ons, anal toys and of course heterosexual vaginal sex. Hentai isn't always sexual penetration with a group or pair of people. It can be a woman/man/tranny posing or masturbating. It could be a group kissing or undressing or fondling each other.

Hentai has no limits. That is why it is so great. I have nothing against real pornography, I enjoy it also. But hentai is perfect. Normal pornography is not. Hentai is beautiful.

well we finish with the Hentai lesson...... for now

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Letter H-"Hentai"

If you've ever seen hentai then you will be put into one of 3 groups


1)lovers are the ones who basically love hentai, i dont think their is anything wrong with it, as long as they dont take it waaaaay too seriously

-oh man she is total hottnes and i love that green hair, im going the bathroom for the next 15-30 minutes

2)loathers, lovers worst nightmare, go round saying nerds jack off over this and that real women are better, this may be obviously true but i dont criticise peoples beliefs

-oh man, your are so sick jacking off to your cartoons. get a life you geek. get some real porn!

3)ah, my group. laughers are the guys who see it and just start laughing at it, not hating it, but not loving it either, these are the guys who play games like franks adventure and those damn simgirl games just forthe hell of completing it before their friend (who happens to be a lover)

-lover:hey, check this picture out loather:oh you sad bastard!
laugher:OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHAHA! i never knew women could do that man, dude! sick!

4)A common practice in hentai is to stretch the sex acts beyond the beyonds of normal human sex. Hentai is based off of a very old practice of drawing sexually explicit acts in order to aid the process of masturbation and has, actually, a richer history than pornography.

-"Holy shit, look at that hentai, it's like each sweat pore deserves penetration!"

uhnm, this is all for today, we will continue tomorrow...

Friday, April 23, 2010

Letter G -"GTFO"

Before everything GTFO means "Get The Fuck Out", but i just don't understand why someone will say GTFO, for me is completely stupid.

1-Can be an expression of excitement for something really extrodinary, including doubt of its existence.

-Suprised by the size of the dildo, Kathy exclaimed, GTFO! when she pulled it out of Amy's sock drawer.

2- Used to tell noobs off or shut them up.

-Who the fuck cares, online noob bashing is a stupid way to spend your time using the acroynm GTFO.

3- An expression for physically leaving a place with no disclosure to members of the place.

-ohn was so tired of his bitch, when Mark asked how the move was, he pointed to his T-shirt that said GTFO.

4-t is best used in a situation not unlike that of one where a girl or maybe a friend that the rent hate to leave the house immediately, because they are coming home.

-Oh crap! My mom's at the door! She's coming in! I'll hold open this window, you've got to GTFO!!

5-Used to express disbelief or dismay.

You: Man, I was so drunk last night. I think I barfed in my purse.
Your buddy: No, that was your pillow case. And you slept on it anyway.
You: GTFO!! Is that why my hair is so sticky?!

6-It is used to express indignation, usually towards stupidity, incompetence, or both.It can be used in response to something that is unwelcome.

-That guy was annoying and didn't know what he was talking about so I told him to GTFO.

well .... esto es todo por hoy..

Saturday, April 17, 2010


The sexiest, hottest, admirablest, cutest, delictable, wonderful, all-hailing, everything that's good man on earth!!!!!!!!!!!!! na mentira(but he have better pictures)

Gackt (aka Gakuto, aka Camui Gackt, aka Gackt M.S. Camui) is an extremely well-known and much-admired Japanese pop/rock star. He claims to have been born on July 4, 1540; however, slightly more reliable sources indicate his birthdate is probably closer to July 4, 1973.
He was first a member (vocalist) of the band Cains:Feel. However, his popularity and charisma because apparent only after he became the lead vocal for the band Malice Mizer. He joined the band in late (October) of 1995. They enjoyed a successful career together until 1998, when the Gackt departed from the band. ((The other members are as follows: Mana (guitar and vocals), Kozi (guitar and vocals), Tetsu (vocals), Yu~ki (bass), Kami (drums).
After leaving Malice Mizer, Gackt embarked upon a very successful solo career. He has written stories, starred in movies (most notably the film Moonchild, in which he acted alongside Hyde of L'arc~en~Ciel fame.), designed clothing, done work on a video game (Bujingai), and opening a restaurant. He also defeated Matsumoto of the group Downtown in a game of pool on the pop culture show "Hey Hey Hey!" and became the King of Billiards.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Free Nude Women (NSFW)

No there's no nude women, here... Just a test to see if this will boost our popularity with search engines. So from here I'll just jam this post full of provocative words...

Nude, nudism, sex, porno, tubes, tits, big tits, small tits, xxx, pussy, anal, cum, fucking, mature, amateur, teen, female, ejaculation, squirt, boobs, natural boobs, saggy boobs, perky boobs.

Bring on the hits!!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Letter F - "Finger"

1.Something often found in Wendy's Chili.

-"Oh my God... There's a finger in my chili.." "How the hell...?" "I don't know shit man, I swear all I did was take a dump in the chili. I don't remember anything about no finger."

2.The main body part needed when you want to finger yourself.

-That guy is totally fingering himself in Mc Donalds!

3.A wierd bone which sprouted out of your hand... It's of no use cut the f-cking thing off.

-Halle Berry often uses her finger to shove it into her crotch, then her ass and then back into her mouth. Afterwards she usually moans in orgasmic pleasure. insert your finger in a girl's vagina, causing her great pleasure. best used with the 'come here' motion of your finger.

-yo mamma's such a slut she needs the whole arm to feel anything when she gets fingered.

5.(Noun)Part of the hand used for holding, grasping or touching an object

-Hold the card with your fingers only.

6.(Verb)The act of inserting one or all of the fingers in the vagina or anus for sexual pleasure.

-Holy shit! Check out that chic fingering her pussy! Damn!

7.When a guy sticks a few of his fingers into a girls vagina hard and fast until she orgasms

-He fingered me so good i was screaming and could barely walk the next day

8.The brilliant art of using your fingers to cause a woman to become wetter than ever and to orgasm and still want to scream.

-Emma really likes to be fingered.

9.To stick your finger up a girl's pussy to give her pleasure.

Girl 1: Truth or dare?
Girl 2: Dare
Girl 1: I dare you to finger yourself!
Girl 2: Okay, sure!

well.... you know...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Ah, Great, I Think I Got A Goddamned Monster In My Closet Again

Man oh man, what a day. I tell you, all that homework and running around at recess must really be catching up with me, because brother, I am bushed. So thank God I can finally get some damned shut-eye around here. Yes, sir, after another hard day at school, nothing feels better than drifting off to sleep here in my big, cozy—whoa, wait a second…what was that? Did my closet door just creak open?

Ah, for Christ's sake. Is that a goddamned monster in my closet again?

What is it with these son of a bitch monsters? Every night with the creaking and the crawling. Enough, already, will ya? Give it a rest! Look, I've brushed my teeth, I've put on my jammies, Mommy's tucked me in—I'm all ready for beddy-bye here, for crying out loud. And now I have to lie here in the darkness like a putz and wait for some stupid monster to tear me limb from limb? Give me a break!

No, see, this makes me really mad. I have eight measly hours every night to get some sleepy-time before I have to get up and catch the school bus. I need my goddamned rest, okay? I'm not kidding around. I got enough problems with math class, I don't need to sit here in the pitch dark and deal with this monster garbage.

What, do I have a sign on my back that says "Terrify me?" It never ends with this crap.

Ah, great. Did something just move under my bed? Christ, is the monster down there now? Goddammit. I am actually getting legitimately furious right now. No, no, go ahead, monster. Get comfortable. Don't mind me, I'll just be up here trembling in mortal terror. Unbelievable. I swear to God, if it weren't for the fact that you'd grab my ankles and pull me under the bed the second my feet hit the floor, I'd be out the door, pal. Lickety-split. Because I don't need this aggravation.

Well, well, well—look at that. I wet my jammies. That's just terrific. You happy now, you sick bastard? Now it's gonna get all over the bed and I'll have to lie in a pool of my own urine like some kind of barnyard animal. What a night.

You know what? Forget this. I'm calling in the big guns:

Mommy? Daddy?

Oh, what a surprise, they can't hear me. Shocker. It's not like they're three rooms away or anything! Boy, I wish someone was filming this, I really do. Just so they could see what an absolute nightmare my life is right now: It's the middle of the goddamned night, I'm soaked in my own piss, I got a frickin' monster under my bed waiting to eat me, and now Mommy and Daddy are out cold like someone konked them over their heads with an 80-pound Valium. I am ready, Lord. Take me now.

Should have set that goddamned monster trap. Stupid idiot. What the hell was I thinking? I had the pots and pans and the twine, why didn't I set the trap? See, this is exactly why nothing ever gets done around here. I always start a project, but I never finish th—GAH! Son of a bitch! Something just touched my toe! Something definitely just touched my toe! What kind of an asshole would do that? That's it, I've had it with these monsters. Honestly, what's next? Am I going to cry now? Is that what's happening? Yup, here come the waterworks. Right on time. Jesus H. Christ, I am losing it, man. I am totally losing it.

Ah, nuts to this, I'm going under the damned covers! You want me, you prick, you can come and get me!


Friday, April 9, 2010

Letter E- "Erection"

1->The way a native Japanese man or woman pronounce, election.

-BTW, next week is Erection Day, right?

2->The male penis in full strength flow, especially annoying when in the company of friends or at the swimming pool. It can be delt with by the below example.

-This damn erection just won't go down, im going to take it into the bathroom and give it such a beating it'll think twice about coming out again.

3->When blood flows from one head to the other.

-I was sitting in my class wearing basketball shorts and got an erection, then my teacher grabbed my penis because she thought it was my phone.

4->The event in which the penis becomes stiff and hard ready to get stroked,inserted,sucked,stucked,beated,ejaculated,bent,kicked,kneed,etc.

-"Wow this porno video is giving me an erection!"

5->When a man's penis is enlarged due to natural attraction to another person. Men will normally get a hard one after looking at woman who are posing in a manor that is 'stiffening' to a man. See example. Erections are also obtained during sex when fooling around with the opposite gender. However some teenage boys are unable to control this urge and often get an erection in an embarassing situation. Some men get an erection over another man ; this is the sure sign of being gay.

-The man got an erection after looking at a semi-naked woman who was sucking her finger seductively.

6->A building that has been created - generally through man made resources.

-The erection of the new school had been completed a day earlier than expected.

7->the state marked by a firm form or "erect" position of a male penis or female clitorus which was previously flaccid and currently engorged with blood.
->an occurance of one such penis or clitorus, usually brough on by sexual arousal.
->an unwanted side effect of boredom of youths, usually in history class.
->the process of constructing a building or monumanet.

-In 7th grade I got an embarassing erection right as I had to stand up and recite the first 5 amendments in history class. I had to use my thick book to hide my boner as I stood up.

Well this is all.... Have a nice day...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Well... If you're broke and need some shoe repair, look no further than the "Do It Yourself (well sort of) Shoe Repair" course at the University of Serxy Druck Heo. (OR UofSDH for short)

Step one: find a broken ass shoe that needs fixing.
Step two: Take a picture of the area where the shoe needs repair to post it on your blog.

Step three: Go to the Dollar Store and spend 1.25$ on heavy black rubber gloves.
Step four: cut out the shape you will need to fix one or both shoes.

Step five: Apply contact cement (also from the dollar store) to the area of the shoe that needs fixing and apply the rubber cutout of the glove mentioned in steps four and five.

Step Six: After pressing hard on the contact cement and the rubber for about three minutes the patch should look like this.

Step seven: To the naked eye your shoe will look perfectly normal, only you will know that you paid 2.25$ for halfassed repairs as opposed to 20$ from your local shoe repair shop.
Step eight: Don't tell your friends because well, let's face it. DYI shoe repair might possibly be the most ghetto thing in the universe to do. On the flipside, you might wanna tell your friends because it might get you some well deserved street cred... I doubt it, but it's worth a shot.

Well kids, that concludes today's lesson. I hope you have all learned something valuable here today. I know I didn't.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Everyone Outraged Catholic Priest Did That Thing Everyone Jokes About

WASHINGTON—Following revelations last week that priests in Wisconsin and Italy were responsible for molesting more than 250 young deaf boys, millions around the country expressed shock and outrage over the very thing they had been endlessly milking as a source of humor for the past 10 years. "I am stunned and disgusted that this incredibly abhorrent thing that I was just joking with a coworker about the other day has actually occurred," Seattle resident Jess Voigt said. "Even though I have been humorously referring to this particular subject almost nonstop for the past decade, I am absolutely blindsided by this unexpected and disturbing news." Members of the American populace vowed to shake their heads and drop the subject from their ribald office banter for at least two weeks before drawing on these unfortunate events to make approximately 13 million more jokes about choirboys. (From

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Letter D- "Drunk"

1->When you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

-arrrrrrggggg! (like a pirate but in more pain)

2->A word defining a person who has had too much alcohol. See also: hammered, sloshed, shit-faced, tanked, blitzed, bombed, wrecked, three sheets to the wind, drunkened, loose, tipsy, defcon 1, well-done, trashed, jagged up, Irish, canned, smashed, fucked-up, intoxicated, inebriated, aniahalated, laced, (etc.)

-Every weekend, Dan gets (insert word here), and pisses people off.

3->Chemically incovienenced

-"i'm not drunk i'm chemically incovienieced and your bestest friend in the whole world ever"

4->A sublime way of existing in a world full of idiots.

-If I wasn't so drunk you would look stupid dancing to that house music shit!

5->an acquaintance,usually a family member who can`t function w/or without a drink.
A person with a disease Known as alcoholism.An every day routine that is socially unacceptable.

-MOM!How come DAD always pisses in the refridgerater when he staggers home at 2 AM?

6->Past tense of "drink".

-You drunk my beer!

7->Spinning without moving.

-I am drunker than fuck right now!

well this is all for today...

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Letter C- "Cunt"

1->Derogatory term for a woman. Considered by many to be the most offensive word in the English language.

-My ex-girlfriend is a fucking cunt.

2->For some reason this word really offends people, maybe because of the exceptionally crude sound of the word, or maybe because talking about the female genitalia is still considered unnaceptable. Either way, people cannot seem to comprehend that it is just a word, making it a great thing to say around tight ass pussies to piss them off.

-I especially enjoy seeing feminists who talk about penises all day wince when I say cunt. Makes me so giddy inside.

3->The tastiest meal known to man.

-I love eating her cunt...

4->A slang word for a vagina.

-I have a dripping wet cunt.

5->The word cunt is only insulting to Americans and over zealous feminists who don't realise its beauty.

Sick Aussie Cunt: Sup cunt?
American feminist: I find that insulting
Sick Aussie Cunt: Piss off

6->It has almost replaced the word 'mate', often used in Australia to refer to people in a conversation when they can't be bothered trying to remember your name.

Sick Aussie Cunt 1: Sup cunt?
Sick Aussie Cunt 2: Nothing much, cunt

7->Cunt in other languages:

-pidh, piçkë, píca, kunda, con, putain, salope, salaud, saligaud, kut, trut, muts, lul, eikel, vittu, Fotze, figa, fica, stronza, stronzo, bastardo, cunnu, puki, fitte, pizda, cipa, cipsko, conas, pizda, pizdá, pit, pica, chocha, chucha, coño, concha.

this is all, i hope you have learn something today...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Friday, March 26, 2010

"Letter B" - "Bukkake"

1->When a Mommy gets down and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and another Daddy and yet another Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturizer.
Damn.. do I have to draw it out for ya?

-Too bad. I'm lazy ;3

-Bukkake: ohhh ohhh OHHHH *6 splurts* *dripdrip* *lick* mm..

2->A sex act, originating in Japan, involving a large group of men taking turns ejaculating on a womans face.

-That Japanese bitch will have a face full of cum after that bukkake !

3->When a group of guys blow their load all over someone- be it a woman, man, animal, food item, whatever. A mushy biscuit is a bukkake game in which participants masturbate as fast as they can until they come on to a biscuit. Whoever comes last has to eat the now mushy biscuit.

-Jon, Dan, Zach, Matt, Dan and Mike all bukkake'd their enemies.
-Matt lost the game of mushy biscuit and almost threw up eating it

4->The involvement of multiple males spanking their monkeys and spreading their muck over a willing female (please note: man fat is not a subsitute for the RDA of protein)

-"Pam you know your friend that love the bukkake? What's her number again?"

5->noun. Variety of fetish that involves repeated ejaculation on a female by many (8 will do) men.

- I think you have a future in bukkake videos.

6->verb. To ejaculate on something, especially repeatedly

-Turn off your stereo or I will bukkake on it.

7->Bukkake occurs when a group of men, perhaps 50 or more, manually stimulate themselves to climax and proceed to squirt warm ectoplasm onto the face, hair, body, or into the eyeballs, ears or mouth of a waiting and willing female. The female will sometimes decide to swallow the creamy ejaculate and utilize the energy and protein it provides to rejuvenate her and allow her to heartily receive two further litres of semen onto her now apparently yogurt and glue covered visage. Bukkake originated in Japan, but is now widely practised throughout the world.

-Hey honey, do you want to go engage in a 100 man bukkake session? Good. Don't bother having dinner tonight alright? Oh, and don't bother going to the spa for a facial today either. You will receive both courtesy of the city fire department's entire staff tonight at the firehall. Oh, and don't wear anything nice. We'll just throw your clothes straight in the garbage when we're finished. Hope you like semen!

well this is all for today...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Barreleye fish, Que feo!!

well this is a f***ing weird fish

Wendy Dictionary "letter A"- "ASS"

well i have been thinking in doing a dictionary that relate with this blog and now i decide to try so what im gonna do is write the meaning of work with a correspondent letter until i finish the alphabet and if it has good comments i start again, of course, giving others words meaning.

Letter A: - "ASS".

1->Used to describe a foul flavor or smell, though not directly comparing the offending taste/odor to ass itself, thus creating a "catch-all" category of troublesome sensory inputs.

"Man, this sandwich smells like ass!"

2->Something i happen to accidentally grab every time i walk by a hot girl.

-oh, my bad

3->Bender's most frequently uttered word.

-Bite my shiny metal ass.

4->Vulgar Slang/Noun. The buttocks or anus.

-Wow, Michel has a nice hot ass.

5->Vulgar Slang/Noun. A stupid, mean, or despicable person.

-Man, Randy was such an ass today. He forgot to come to school.

6->Vulgar Slang/Adj. Very or quite a bit of.

-Shit, that was a packed-ass club.
-Whoah, that's a big-ass monster.

7->Vulgar Slang/Noun. An undesirable place of person.

- Man, that place was the ass of the neighborhood.

8->n. A type of donkey or mule.

-I rode my ass up the mountain.

9->n. A slang term to describe the buttox.

-I'll sake my ass in your face.

10->n. A stupid or foolish person.

- Stop being an ass!

11->A Place where courageous people do the nasty.

12->Types of ass.

(_!_) = Normal Ass
(__!__) = Big Ass
(!) = Tight Ass
(_?_) = Dumb Ass
(_E=MC2_) = Smart Ass
(_$_) = Rich Ass
(_x_) = Kiss My Ass
(_X_) = Get Off My Ass

And this is all for today....

Sunday, March 21, 2010

ANd back by popular demand....

Well not really any demand at all actually, but fuck it... it's our blog we can post whatever we want!

Friday, March 12, 2010


uhnnn lo que siempre me acordava cada ves que ponian este munequito, es que a mi no me toco el refresco, pero bueno, para lo que nunca an visto munequitos cubanos...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Annoying Thing..

This is for muchacho, because he never understand when i talk about Crazy Frog

Monday, March 8, 2010

We are going to Jackson!!!!

We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I'm goin' to Jackson, I'm gonna mess around,
Yeah, I'm goin' to Jackson,
Look out Jackson town.

Well, go on down to Jackson; go ahead and wreck your health.
Go play your hand you big-talkin' man, make a big fool of yourself,
Yeah, go to Jackson; go comb your hair!
Honey, I'm gonna snowball Jackson.
See if I care.

When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and bow. (Hah!)
All them women gonna make me, teach 'em what they don't know how,
I'm goin' to Jackson, you turn-a loose-a my coat.
'Cos I'm goin' to Jackson.
"Goodbye," that's all she wrote.

But they'll laugh at you in Jackson, and I'll be dancin' on a Pony Keg.
They'll lead you 'round town like a scalded hound,
With your tail tucked between your legs,
Yeah, go to Jackson, you big-talkin' man.
And I'll be waitin' in Jackson, behind my Jaypan Fan,

Well now, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper Sprout,
We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went.
I'm goin' to Jackson, and that's a fact.
Yeah, we're goin' to Jackson, ain't never comin' back.

Well, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout'
And we've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's

I tribute to all the lovers out there, here's yet another classic from the Dead Milkmen!

From the 514 with love for yall!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Mas Vampiros en la Habana

So... Wendy made me watch this movie called Vampiros en la Habana which to my surprise was really good. So I was all happy when she said there was a second part. Well, the movie wasn't as good as she remembered it being and frankly I didn't like it it at all.
For those of you who are interested in seeing it click HERE

Here is my opinion:
Score: -7/10
Review: You know when you take a shit and it's a little soft but not really hard but not really diarrhea? And it piles up at the bottom of the toilet and it smells awful and you know it's going to take you like 5 extra wipes just to get your ass clean? When that is EXACTLY what this movie is like. Don't waste your time watching this, stick to the first one...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Choosing a wife...

A man has to choose a wife from 3 women, but he just can't make up his mind.
So he withdraws 15,000$ from the bank and gives 5000$ to each woman...

The first woman, goes shopping for nice dresses and fancy shoes, gets her hair and her nails done, goes to the tanning salon. She goes to see the man and says:
"I spent my 5000$ on making myself more beautiful for you, because I love you."

The second woman, goes shopping as well. But she buys a flat screen TV, two pairs of sneakers, gold clubs for 2 and two tennis rackets. She goes goes to see the man and says: "I spent my 5000$ on things that will make you happy, because I love you."

The third woman, takes the money and invests it in the stock market and doubles her investment. She says to the man: "Here's your 5000$ I took it and invested and made my own money so I don't have to depend on you, because I love you."

So the man thinks....

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and drinks a beer and thinks some more

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

(men think a lot despite appearances)

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

(that's a lot of thinking...)

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

and thinks...

And he comes to a decision... He decides he's going to marry the one with the nicest tits.

(Just because men think a lot, it doesn't mean that it's very useful...)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Oh F$ck....

I found someone with even more time to waste on his hands than all three of us put together. "When life gives me lemons I make beef stew" ?!?!?!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Dear Blog...

Dear blog...

I know it's been a while and like with any relationship it gets kind of awkward after one person stops paying attention to the other. And well... let's face it, neither Wendy, Deya or I have been paying much attention to you have we?

I mean, I know that you're fun and everything, but you're a lot of work... I guess what I'm trying to say is that your high maintenance. Look at it from our perspective: we need to type a username, then remember our passwords? THEN we have to type some posts? I mean seriously! That's a lot of work!!!

We're the ones who make you look good and people pay attention to you because of us! When was the last time you did something for yourself? I mean I go away for a few days and you're still showing the same old post saying the same old thing! Do you even care about how you look in front of others? I don't think so....

Well blog, I'm hoping that this letter has shed some light on to why none of us have tried to maintain you lately... Start by helping yourself and we'll help you. And for god sakes, I stop drinking yourself to sleep every night and maybe one of us will come and write on you one of these days...

Until then peace out,

Muchacho Enfermo

PS: We know what you did last summer... and you should be ashamed!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Every now and again you hear a song that makes you say "Fuck why didn't I write that." Well today I'm writing about one of these songs. I kept hearing it on 99.9 The BuZZ (shameless plug for alternative radio... yay!) but I never actually listened to the lyrics until I was stuck in traffic today and I instead of humming the melody I payed attention to all the words.

This one is a song called Unity and is a collaboration between Trevor Hall this blond kids from South Carolina that's been performing since he was 16 and Matisyahu a Jewish raggae artist. The melody is insane, the lyrics are deep and touching and the song is just sheer beauty for your ears. This in one of those universal songs that'll speak to you no matter what mood you're in... Whether you're in love and your loved one is on the other side of a continent, whether you are saddened by all the hatred and fear in the world, or by the injustice of mankind... this song will speak to you.

Here's the Video and here's the lyrics... Much love to both Hall and Matisyahu for writing this song. I am your debt gentlemen.

Take me to the table where we all dine together
And pluck me from the crowd and return me to my sender
Whatever path you follow push on till tomorrow
Love all serve all and create no sorrow
So many rivers but they all reach the sea
They telling me he's different but I just don't believe it
Love is the glorious and everyone shall reach it
Who ever seeks it
Seen and unseen

I don't want a reason anymore about the one I love, the one I love
I don't want a reason anymore about God above, God above
I just want to melt away, in all His grace
Drift away, into that sacred place
Where there's no more you and me, no more they and we, just unity yeah yeah, just unity yeah yeah, just unity yeah yeah, just unity yeah yeah

Well I don't wana count the leaves of the mango tree
I just want to taste it's sweetness
So you can defeat this above and beneath this
Come one and all, come stand tall
And whatever your approaching dance or meditation
If you got love along than you shall reach the station
You find a road, the supreme abode
In this city all hearts shine like gold

Don't want a reason anymore about the one I love, the one I love
I don't want a reason anymore about God above, God above
I just want to melt away, in all His grace
Drift away, into that sacred place
Where there's no more you and me, no more they and we, just unity yeah, just unity, just unity, unity, just unity

Me and Jesus, Buddah, Moses, and Gouranga
All dance around, dancing on your thunder
Drunk on the wine of love for thee
Well tell me when will I be blessed to join the bliss of your company
Blissful company goes from sea to sea
From the depths of the valley to the mountain peaks
So many stories and so many fables of how the king sings of how the wall wails
Jerusalem to the Holy Himalayas
From Mount Zion to the hills of Jamaica
All land is holy, all land is sacred
All shall leave this world completely naked
Completely naked, completely

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Valla aki promocionando al Ciro...

jejje esta es una de sus ultimas canciones.... por ahora les pongo la letra, el video lo pongo en estos dias.. :)
Es una parodia de la cancion "su propia guerra".

Su propia lengua:

Lagarde va camino de la vida que soñó

perreandole al gobierno pa' ganarse su perol

habla mal de Yoani manda'o por el G2

alaba a Fidel Castro que clase'e chivatón

Lagarde siempre al día y con tecnología pro

sus dos manos las surte el ministerio e'l'interior

en una el bokitoki en la otra la laptop

dice que interne´ es mala con tremenda conección

Lagarde y otros comunistas buscan sin cesar

por todo el ancho mundo alguien que los quiera apoyar

siempre hay algún imbécil que se deja engañar

algunos con un nombre o una cara que mostrar

Lagarde va sin nombre va sin rostro pero va

defiende el mal aliento del ministro de las FAR

ministro que reparte los carros por demás

comprendan a Lagarde, a el le gusta manejar.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

On the Road Again

Driving back from Miami we saw all sorts of little places, had the car vandalized, saw a bunch of trees, were told by a hotel attendant we were going to hell, waited an hour and 10 minutes for a meal at KFC, saw some really scary places (like North Carolina, ALL of it), saw crackheads in DC and slept in a Motel 6 with holes in the bathroom door. All that to say, it's a long ass drive from Miami to Montreal and I-95 is a creepy ass highway... oh yeah, and we still don't know who JR is... or who shot him.