Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Chuck... wait for it... Norris

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Thought of the day

"I was trying to make mashed potatoes from laundry detergent"

Monday, April 26, 2010

Letter H-"Hentai"2

Hentai is animated pornography showcasing women who have better bodies than any real women (yet have weird hairstyles and hair-colours) and men with enormous penises.

Every character in a hentai has body features several times better than any real person. 14 year old boys with 15 inch erections. 14 year old school girls with breasts better than most 21 year olds. The thinner the woman, the bigger the breasts.

For women, their is no such thing as a flat-chested no-breasted woman - at least in professional hentai anyway. Their breasts are perfect and natural - not tainted by surgery with scars and abnormals. They are perfect. Hentai is perfection.

Hentai can involve anything sexual. Lesbians, bisexuals, homosexuals, bondage, underwater, fairies, humans and animals, orgies, oral sex,aural sex, anal sex, naisal sex, S&M, slavery, dildos, strap-ons, anal toys and of course heterosexual vaginal sex. Hentai isn't always sexual penetration with a group or pair of people. It can be a woman/man/tranny posing or masturbating. It could be a group kissing or undressing or fondling each other.

Hentai has no limits. That is why it is so great. I have nothing against real pornography, I enjoy it also. But hentai is perfect. Normal pornography is not. Hentai is beautiful.

well we finish with the Hentai lesson...... for now

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Letter H-"Hentai"

If you've ever seen hentai then you will be put into one of 3 groups


1)lovers are the ones who basically love hentai, i dont think their is anything wrong with it, as long as they dont take it waaaaay too seriously

-oh man she is total hottnes and i love that green hair, im going the bathroom for the next 15-30 minutes

2)loathers, lovers worst nightmare, go round saying nerds jack off over this and that real women are better, this may be obviously true but i dont criticise peoples beliefs

-oh man, your are so sick jacking off to your cartoons. get a life you geek. get some real porn!

3)ah, my group. laughers are the guys who see it and just start laughing at it, not hating it, but not loving it either, these are the guys who play games like franks adventure and those damn simgirl games just forthe hell of completing it before their friend (who happens to be a lover)

-lover:hey, check this picture out loather:oh you sad bastard!
laugher:OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHAHA! i never knew women could do that man, dude! sick!

4)A common practice in hentai is to stretch the sex acts beyond the beyonds of normal human sex. Hentai is based off of a very old practice of drawing sexually explicit acts in order to aid the process of masturbation and has, actually, a richer history than pornography.

-"Holy shit, look at that hentai, it's like each sweat pore deserves penetration!"

uhnm, this is all for today, we will continue tomorrow...

Friday, April 23, 2010

Letter G -"GTFO"

Before everything GTFO means "Get The Fuck Out", but i just don't understand why someone will say GTFO, for me is completely stupid.

1-Can be an expression of excitement for something really extrodinary, including doubt of its existence.

-Suprised by the size of the dildo, Kathy exclaimed, GTFO! when she pulled it out of Amy's sock drawer.

2- Used to tell noobs off or shut them up.

-Who the fuck cares, online noob bashing is a stupid way to spend your time using the acroynm GTFO.

3- An expression for physically leaving a place with no disclosure to members of the place.

-ohn was so tired of his bitch, when Mark asked how the move was, he pointed to his T-shirt that said GTFO.

4-t is best used in a situation not unlike that of one where a girl or maybe a friend that the rent hate to leave the house immediately, because they are coming home.

-Oh crap! My mom's at the door! She's coming in! I'll hold open this window, you've got to GTFO!!

5-Used to express disbelief or dismay.

You: Man, I was so drunk last night. I think I barfed in my purse.
Your buddy: No, that was your pillow case. And you slept on it anyway.
You: GTFO!! Is that why my hair is so sticky?!

6-It is used to express indignation, usually towards stupidity, incompetence, or both.It can be used in response to something that is unwelcome.

-That guy was annoying and didn't know what he was talking about so I told him to GTFO.

well .... esto es todo por hoy..

Saturday, April 17, 2010


The sexiest, hottest, admirablest, cutest, delictable, wonderful, all-hailing, everything that's good man on earth!!!!!!!!!!!!! na mentira(but he have better pictures)

Gackt (aka Gakuto, aka Camui Gackt, aka Gackt M.S. Camui) is an extremely well-known and much-admired Japanese pop/rock star. He claims to have been born on July 4, 1540; however, slightly more reliable sources indicate his birthdate is probably closer to July 4, 1973.
He was first a member (vocalist) of the band Cains:Feel. However, his popularity and charisma because apparent only after he became the lead vocal for the band Malice Mizer. He joined the band in late (October) of 1995. They enjoyed a successful career together until 1998, when the Gackt departed from the band. ((The other members are as follows: Mana (guitar and vocals), Kozi (guitar and vocals), Tetsu (vocals), Yu~ki (bass), Kami (drums).
After leaving Malice Mizer, Gackt embarked upon a very successful solo career. He has written stories, starred in movies (most notably the film Moonchild, in which he acted alongside Hyde of L'arc~en~Ciel fame.), designed clothing, done work on a video game (Bujingai), and opening a restaurant. He also defeated Matsumoto of the group Downtown in a game of pool on the pop culture show "Hey Hey Hey!" and became the King of Billiards.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Free Nude Women (NSFW)

No there's no nude women, here... Just a test to see if this will boost our popularity with search engines. So from here I'll just jam this post full of provocative words...

Nude, nudism, sex, porno, tubes, tits, big tits, small tits, xxx, pussy, anal, cum, fucking, mature, amateur, teen, female, ejaculation, squirt, boobs, natural boobs, saggy boobs, perky boobs.

Bring on the hits!!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Letter F - "Finger"

1.Something often found in Wendy's Chili.

-"Oh my God... There's a finger in my chili.." "How the hell...?" "I don't know shit man, I swear all I did was take a dump in the chili. I don't remember anything about no finger."

2.The main body part needed when you want to finger yourself.

-That guy is totally fingering himself in Mc Donalds!

3.A wierd bone which sprouted out of your hand... It's of no use cut the f-cking thing off.

-Halle Berry often uses her finger to shove it into her crotch, then her ass and then back into her mouth. Afterwards she usually moans in orgasmic pleasure. insert your finger in a girl's vagina, causing her great pleasure. best used with the 'come here' motion of your finger.

-yo mamma's such a slut she needs the whole arm to feel anything when she gets fingered.

5.(Noun)Part of the hand used for holding, grasping or touching an object

-Hold the card with your fingers only.

6.(Verb)The act of inserting one or all of the fingers in the vagina or anus for sexual pleasure.

-Holy shit! Check out that chic fingering her pussy! Damn!

7.When a guy sticks a few of his fingers into a girls vagina hard and fast until she orgasms

-He fingered me so good i was screaming and could barely walk the next day

8.The brilliant art of using your fingers to cause a woman to become wetter than ever and to orgasm and still want to scream.

-Emma really likes to be fingered.

9.To stick your finger up a girl's pussy to give her pleasure.

Girl 1: Truth or dare?
Girl 2: Dare
Girl 1: I dare you to finger yourself!
Girl 2: Okay, sure!

well.... you know...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Ah, Great, I Think I Got A Goddamned Monster In My Closet Again

Man oh man, what a day. I tell you, all that homework and running around at recess must really be catching up with me, because brother, I am bushed. So thank God I can finally get some damned shut-eye around here. Yes, sir, after another hard day at school, nothing feels better than drifting off to sleep here in my big, cozy—whoa, wait a second…what was that? Did my closet door just creak open?

Ah, for Christ's sake. Is that a goddamned monster in my closet again?

What is it with these son of a bitch monsters? Every night with the creaking and the crawling. Enough, already, will ya? Give it a rest! Look, I've brushed my teeth, I've put on my jammies, Mommy's tucked me in—I'm all ready for beddy-bye here, for crying out loud. And now I have to lie here in the darkness like a putz and wait for some stupid monster to tear me limb from limb? Give me a break!

No, see, this makes me really mad. I have eight measly hours every night to get some sleepy-time before I have to get up and catch the school bus. I need my goddamned rest, okay? I'm not kidding around. I got enough problems with math class, I don't need to sit here in the pitch dark and deal with this monster garbage.

What, do I have a sign on my back that says "Terrify me?" It never ends with this crap.

Ah, great. Did something just move under my bed? Christ, is the monster down there now? Goddammit. I am actually getting legitimately furious right now. No, no, go ahead, monster. Get comfortable. Don't mind me, I'll just be up here trembling in mortal terror. Unbelievable. I swear to God, if it weren't for the fact that you'd grab my ankles and pull me under the bed the second my feet hit the floor, I'd be out the door, pal. Lickety-split. Because I don't need this aggravation.

Well, well, well—look at that. I wet my jammies. That's just terrific. You happy now, you sick bastard? Now it's gonna get all over the bed and I'll have to lie in a pool of my own urine like some kind of barnyard animal. What a night.

You know what? Forget this. I'm calling in the big guns:

Mommy? Daddy?

Oh, what a surprise, they can't hear me. Shocker. It's not like they're three rooms away or anything! Boy, I wish someone was filming this, I really do. Just so they could see what an absolute nightmare my life is right now: It's the middle of the goddamned night, I'm soaked in my own piss, I got a frickin' monster under my bed waiting to eat me, and now Mommy and Daddy are out cold like someone konked them over their heads with an 80-pound Valium. I am ready, Lord. Take me now.

Should have set that goddamned monster trap. Stupid idiot. What the hell was I thinking? I had the pots and pans and the twine, why didn't I set the trap? See, this is exactly why nothing ever gets done around here. I always start a project, but I never finish th—GAH! Son of a bitch! Something just touched my toe! Something definitely just touched my toe! What kind of an asshole would do that? That's it, I've had it with these monsters. Honestly, what's next? Am I going to cry now? Is that what's happening? Yup, here come the waterworks. Right on time. Jesus H. Christ, I am losing it, man. I am totally losing it.

Ah, nuts to this, I'm going under the damned covers! You want me, you prick, you can come and get me!


Friday, April 9, 2010

Letter E- "Erection"

1->The way a native Japanese man or woman pronounce, election.

-BTW, next week is Erection Day, right?

2->The male penis in full strength flow, especially annoying when in the company of friends or at the swimming pool. It can be delt with by the below example.

-This damn erection just won't go down, im going to take it into the bathroom and give it such a beating it'll think twice about coming out again.

3->When blood flows from one head to the other.

-I was sitting in my class wearing basketball shorts and got an erection, then my teacher grabbed my penis because she thought it was my phone.

4->The event in which the penis becomes stiff and hard ready to get stroked,inserted,sucked,stucked,beated,ejaculated,bent,kicked,kneed,etc.

-"Wow this porno video is giving me an erection!"

5->When a man's penis is enlarged due to natural attraction to another person. Men will normally get a hard one after looking at woman who are posing in a manor that is 'stiffening' to a man. See example. Erections are also obtained during sex when fooling around with the opposite gender. However some teenage boys are unable to control this urge and often get an erection in an embarassing situation. Some men get an erection over another man ; this is the sure sign of being gay.

-The man got an erection after looking at a semi-naked woman who was sucking her finger seductively.

6->A building that has been created - generally through man made resources.

-The erection of the new school had been completed a day earlier than expected.

7->the state marked by a firm form or "erect" position of a male penis or female clitorus which was previously flaccid and currently engorged with blood.
->an occurance of one such penis or clitorus, usually brough on by sexual arousal.
->an unwanted side effect of boredom of youths, usually in history class.
->the process of constructing a building or monumanet.

-In 7th grade I got an embarassing erection right as I had to stand up and recite the first 5 amendments in history class. I had to use my thick book to hide my boner as I stood up.

Well this is all.... Have a nice day...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Well... If you're broke and need some shoe repair, look no further than the "Do It Yourself (well sort of) Shoe Repair" course at the University of Serxy Druck Heo. (OR UofSDH for short)

Step one: find a broken ass shoe that needs fixing.
Step two: Take a picture of the area where the shoe needs repair to post it on your blog.

Step three: Go to the Dollar Store and spend 1.25$ on heavy black rubber gloves.
Step four: cut out the shape you will need to fix one or both shoes.

Step five: Apply contact cement (also from the dollar store) to the area of the shoe that needs fixing and apply the rubber cutout of the glove mentioned in steps four and five.

Step Six: After pressing hard on the contact cement and the rubber for about three minutes the patch should look like this.

Step seven: To the naked eye your shoe will look perfectly normal, only you will know that you paid 2.25$ for halfassed repairs as opposed to 20$ from your local shoe repair shop.
Step eight: Don't tell your friends because well, let's face it. DYI shoe repair might possibly be the most ghetto thing in the universe to do. On the flipside, you might wanna tell your friends because it might get you some well deserved street cred... I doubt it, but it's worth a shot.

Well kids, that concludes today's lesson. I hope you have all learned something valuable here today. I know I didn't.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Everyone Outraged Catholic Priest Did That Thing Everyone Jokes About

WASHINGTON—Following revelations last week that priests in Wisconsin and Italy were responsible for molesting more than 250 young deaf boys, millions around the country expressed shock and outrage over the very thing they had been endlessly milking as a source of humor for the past 10 years. "I am stunned and disgusted that this incredibly abhorrent thing that I was just joking with a coworker about the other day has actually occurred," Seattle resident Jess Voigt said. "Even though I have been humorously referring to this particular subject almost nonstop for the past decade, I am absolutely blindsided by this unexpected and disturbing news." Members of the American populace vowed to shake their heads and drop the subject from their ribald office banter for at least two weeks before drawing on these unfortunate events to make approximately 13 million more jokes about choirboys. (From

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Letter D- "Drunk"

1->When you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

-arrrrrrggggg! (like a pirate but in more pain)

2->A word defining a person who has had too much alcohol. See also: hammered, sloshed, shit-faced, tanked, blitzed, bombed, wrecked, three sheets to the wind, drunkened, loose, tipsy, defcon 1, well-done, trashed, jagged up, Irish, canned, smashed, fucked-up, intoxicated, inebriated, aniahalated, laced, (etc.)

-Every weekend, Dan gets (insert word here), and pisses people off.

3->Chemically incovienenced

-"i'm not drunk i'm chemically incovienieced and your bestest friend in the whole world ever"

4->A sublime way of existing in a world full of idiots.

-If I wasn't so drunk you would look stupid dancing to that house music shit!

5->an acquaintance,usually a family member who can`t function w/or without a drink.
A person with a disease Known as alcoholism.An every day routine that is socially unacceptable.

-MOM!How come DAD always pisses in the refridgerater when he staggers home at 2 AM?

6->Past tense of "drink".

-You drunk my beer!

7->Spinning without moving.

-I am drunker than fuck right now!

well this is all for today...