Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Letter J - "Jesus"

1-Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people(christians).

-Jesus:be nice to others.

2-The dude who mows my lawn.

-Jesus, you missed a spot.

3-A pretty cool guy whose reputation has been run down by his horrible fan-club.

-Used by the said fan-club as an excuse to do whatever they decide is “right.”

Dude: “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car???”
Other dude: “Jesus’ will.”

4-Jesus lived a really long time ago in the Holy Land. He taught a lot of people to be nice to each other. He told stories, called parables, to help people understand about heaven and blah..bla..bablah..ba..blah..bablah..blah

5-The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.

-In the court...
Judge: Danapal, you have a debt.
Danapal: Yes,I am sorry, it won't happen again.

Jesus walks in and hands the judge the money I owe.

Danapal: Thank you Jesus!

6-A good answer for pretty much anything.

Billy: Hey Tom, what's the answer to #2?
Tom: Jesus.

7-One of the good guys.

-Apparantly Jesus saves people like Spider-man.

8-A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

9-Jesus, is a cool guy who is cooler than nature, enjoys long romantic walks on water, and doesn't get all big-headed about being God's son.

Girl: So what do you like to do?
Jesus: I enjoy long romantic walks on water.
Girl: Only Jesus can do that.
Jesus: Bitch, I am Jesus!

well this is all for today... maybe we will continue discosting this chapter on next class...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Did you know..

Oh MY God, did you know that there are people that actually read this blog!!!! not misunderstand i know that there are some people that read it, por example: Erlis in Cuba, but i didnt know that there where people that read it in Canada, did you hear that!! CANADA, someone ask exactamente when i was gonna post the next letter, that why did i stop after the letter H, ohh it made really happy(but my friend just for you to know i post letter I like 10 days ago!,but lets forget about that litter incident) :) and just for you to know i havent post the "J" because i cant fine a good definition to it, but im still working just wait a litter more, well i say bye for now...muaaaa
Happy, happy...happy, happy, happy...Happy!!!...Happy!!!!...Happy!!!!!
(that is my litter song)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Letter I - "INTERNET"

1-A vast tundra of knowledge, now corrupted and slowly imploding on itself. Those caught on the outskirts enter a void of stupidity and insecurity. Eventually, it will completely cave in on itself, and then explode with such force, we will all be sent to an information oblivion. Random bits of intelligence will float amongst vast oceans of idiocy, and all of man kind will commit suicide in a futile effort to repent for creating such a weapon of mass destruction. God will not accept their sacrifice, and everyone will go to hell, where Satan will get pissed off at the extreme overpopulation of his facilities, and send everyone to someplace copletely unihabitable, like Utah.

-The four horsemen of the apocalypse crashed my unix server. Lol internet.

2-A web of confusion, dismay and pornography.

-I did a search for 'World History' on the internet and I received 500 results: all pornography.

3-A world wide network of computers all linked together over the TCP/IP protocol. The Internet allows people to communicate in real time from different continents. Someone in South America can have an online chat with someone in Russia.

All manner of news and information can be accessed through search engines such as Google. You usually use the Internet via the World Wide Web. You use a Web browser such as Internet Explorer or Firefox to look things up.The Internet is not without its problems. Viruses and spyware abound and can major mess up your computer if it becomes infested with them. You need a firewall and antivirus program for safety.

4-the what?

5-A media form that politicians, religious nuts, and soccer moms have tried in vain to control. Whatever is posted here is free for the taking, whether it be MP3s, porn, warez, or software.

-The sex industry owns the Internet now.

6-A hair net worn by two old women who can't afford a single hair net. They have fallen through the cracks in the Bush Medicaid drug program, and cannot even afford drugs in Canada.

-Maria and Soila took turns holding the cane, but the internet was something they both had to deal with.

7-A net used to capture rogue interns.

-Somebody should have used the internet on Monica Lewinsky. They only used the presidnet in a nuclear emergency


sorry, sorry, sorry... i really haven't have time to write anything in a long time, actually I'm trying to finish my school in less time, by my count, if i take a lot of classes now i can finish by December, i take out a year!! and that is a lot.
i just wanted you to know that if you don't see me writing is not because I dont care about my blog, is because i have a lot of exams :(
but well i will try to start writing at least with my dictionary, as soon i get my hans on the internet again