Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Chuck... wait for it... Norris

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

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