A few people have been asking me why I've been offline for the last few months, why I'm not writing, what I'm doing to fill my days. I usually give them some bullshit story about being homeless for a while and my life drastically changing in very little time.. But I think that it's time, for you, the readers to finally know the truth.
I'm part (or was part) of a super secret governmental agency called C.R.A.P. and I my job with CRAP is to investigate paranormal phenomena...
My last mission was to investigate the case of the missing beer bottles. All over the city of Montreal complaints were received from bar owners and liquor store owners alike saying they were running out of beer at an alarming rate.
So I was placed "on the inside" as an undercover agent. I infiltrated every Irish pub and every liquor store in the city posing as an alcoholic trying to see where all the missing booze was going.
I did a great job, most if not all of the bar owners thought I was a drunk, but in truth I was just doing it to blend in, so that the enemy would not know that I am CRAP. So I drank and drank, I kept my eyes open, I drank and drank and drank some more.
There's a saying that says "Working is the bane of the drinking class" well I'm not sure how that fits in to this situation because in effect, drinking WAS my work.
I'm back now, in case no one noticed, because the mission failed. Not because I wasn't good at my job. In fact it's over because I was too good at my job, I drank so much there was no beer left for the thieves and now I'm on paid vacation.
Cheers, I'll drink to that.