Ahora si!! THE FUTURE TECHNOLOGY!

just when i was getting really bored i found this!

Now What!!

This CREATURE was spotted (and beaten to death) by a couple of teens in Panama. This looks seriously disturbing, they said the boys who found it beat it to death after it crawled up from a cave. The strange features are enough to make anyone creepy at first appearance, but if you look at the long arms, small round face, bits or wiry brown fur, and what seem to be claws at the end of it’s ‘hand’; this seems a very dead sloth. Sloths do live in panama. The the reason why it’s ‘naked’ and bloated is simply from being in the sea water, and dead for a while(others think).

But, Why was it beaten to death? It looks like it has very little muscle, it has no teeth, no hair, and it looks clumsy as f". Just because is frickin’ weird doesn’t mean it has to be beaten up to death. What kind of threat could this thing portray? Goddamn humans destroying everything they see. Shame on the kids who did that.


BASE IN REAL COMMENTS!

Hey... do you all remember this guy? George Laraque, the ex pro hockey player who became the dude in the commercial for TekSavvy? Well now he's been named the Deputy Leader of the Green Party...

That means, oh yes it does, that he will be running in the next election to be part of the Canadian government!

Motherfucker he's awesome!!

Good morning.

L - is for LATINA

I know this is usually Wendy's thing... But well I figured I'd chime in and do at least one letter in the whole alphabet...

1- Hot, sexy and sensual chicks who have the nicest asses, nice curves everywhere and look good in everything and best of all...black hair (well the most of us)...
"Nosotras si que somos lo que se puede decir sexy!"

2- The sexiest women in da world!
"damn dat latina mami is sexxy as hell"

3- The hottest women on the face of the earth. No other woman comes close. They have tan-mocha skin, dark black hair, the best asses and curves ever. Not to mention some seriously addictive pussy. Their asses are amazing. They are possibly the only woman that can still be attractive when over weight.

4- A lady with Hispanic roots. They can look either fine, good, cute, beautiful or sexy. They have a chance to become the most beautiful human creatures on this planet.
"He began to get himself ready, and as he sat in his chair, the latina came out in her sexy lingerie. He was ready to have the best night of his life."

5- Every man on Earth wishes he had a Latina by his side.

Letter J - "Jesus"

1-Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people(christians).

-Jesus:be nice to others.

2-The dude who mows my lawn.

-Jesus, you missed a spot.

3-A pretty cool guy whose reputation has been run down by his horrible fan-club.

-Used by the said fan-club as an excuse to do whatever they decide is “right.”

Dude: “Hey! What the hell are you doing to my car???”
Other dude: “Jesus’ will.”

4-Jesus lived a really long time ago in the Holy Land. He taught a lot of people to be nice to each other. He told stories, called parables, to help people understand about heaven and blah..bla..bablah..ba..blah..bablah..blah

5-The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.

-In the court...
Judge: Danapal, you have a debt.
Danapal: Yes,I am sorry, it won't happen again.

Jesus walks in and hands the judge the money I owe.

Danapal: Thank you Jesus!

6-A good answer for pretty much anything.

Billy: Hey Tom, what's the answer to #2?
Tom: Jesus.

7-One of the good guys.

-Apparantly Jesus saves people like Spider-man.

8-A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

9-Jesus, is a cool guy who is cooler than nature, enjoys long romantic walks on water, and doesn't get all big-headed about being God's son.

Girl: So what do you like to do?
Jesus: I enjoy long romantic walks on water.
Girl: Only Jesus can do that.
Jesus: Bitch, I am Jesus!

well this is all for today... maybe we will continue discosting this chapter on next class...

So.... TekSavvy an independent ISP here in Montreal decided they were going to use George Laraque as a spokesperson. Nothing wrong with using a spokesperson... But for those of you who don't know Laraque let me give you a little bit of background: he was signed to a 1.5 million dollar per year contract with the Montreal Canadiens to be an enforcer, he walked away from the team after one year because well, he became a vegan and got tired of fighting... Now he's so hard up that he's not letting the language barrier stop him, or the fact he, the former heavyweight champion of the NHL, looks like a complete tool in this commercial.

I mean look at him, if it wasn't so funny it would be sad.

I'm awesome!

Very very representative of me!

Or What?

This is complete syupidddddd, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pawer!!!!

This is muchacho enfermo...

If you wanna know how does muchacho enfermo looks, you only have to see this commercial, i think he forgot to take it out of the internet, so hurry up and see it before he takes it out, jejejeje, APOBECHA!!!!

Uhnm...

What sentence?...

Chuck... wait for it... Norris

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Letter G -"GTFO"

Before everything GTFO means "Get The Fuck Out", but i just don't understand why someone will say GTFO, for me is completely stupid.

1-Can be an expression of excitement for something really extrodinary, including doubt of its existence.

-Suprised by the size of the dildo, Kathy exclaimed, GTFO! when she pulled it out of Amy's sock drawer.

2- Used to tell noobs off or shut them up.

-Who the fuck cares, online noob bashing is a stupid way to spend your time using the acroynm GTFO.

3- An expression for physically leaving a place with no disclosure to members of the place.

-ohn was so tired of his bitch, when Mark asked how the move was, he pointed to his T-shirt that said GTFO.

4-t is best used in a situation not unlike that of one where a girl or maybe a friend that the rent hate to leave the house immediately, because they are coming home.

-Oh crap! My mom's at the door! She's coming in! I'll hold open this window, you've got to GTFO!!

5-Used to express disbelief or dismay.

You: Man, I was so drunk last night. I think I barfed in my purse.
Your buddy: No, that was your pillow case. And you slept on it anyway.
You: GTFO!! Is that why my hair is so sticky?!

6-It is used to express indignation, usually towards stupidity, incompetence, or both.It can be used in response to something that is unwelcome.

-That guy was annoying and didn't know what he was talking about so I told him to GTFO.

well .... esto es todo por hoy..

Letter F - "Finger"

1.Something often found in Wendy's Chili.

-"Oh my God... There's a finger in my chili.." "How the hell...?" "I don't know shit man, I swear all I did was take a dump in the chili. I don't remember anything about no finger."

2.The main body part needed when you want to finger yourself.

-That guy is totally fingering himself in Mc Donalds!

3.A wierd bone which sprouted out of your hand... It's of no use cut the f-cking thing off.

-Halle Berry often uses her finger to shove it into her crotch, then her ass and then back into her mouth. Afterwards she usually moans in orgasmic pleasure.

4.to insert your finger in a girl's vagina, causing her great pleasure. best used with the 'come here' motion of your finger.

-yo mamma's such a slut she needs the whole arm to feel anything when she gets fingered.

5.(Noun)Part of the hand used for holding, grasping or touching an object

-Hold the card with your fingers only.

6.(Verb)The act of inserting one or all of the fingers in the vagina or anus for sexual pleasure.

-Holy shit! Check out that chic fingering her pussy! Damn!

7.When a guy sticks a few of his fingers into a girls vagina hard and fast until she orgasms

-He fingered me so good i was screaming and could barely walk the next day

8.The brilliant art of using your fingers to cause a woman to become wetter than ever and to orgasm and still want to scream.

-Emma really likes to be fingered.

9.To stick your finger up a girl's pussy to give her pleasure.

Girl 1: Truth or dare?
Girl 2: Dare
Girl 1: I dare you to finger yourself!
Girl 2: Okay, sure!

well.... you know...

Thought of the day...

I win.

Emo...

Ah, Great, I Think I Got A Goddamned Monster In My Closet Again

Man oh man, what a day. I tell you, all that homework and running around at recess must really be catching up with me, because brother, I am bushed. So thank God I can finally get some damned shut-eye around here. Yes, sir, after another hard day at school, nothing feels better than drifting off to sleep here in my big, cozy—whoa, wait a second…what was that? Did my closet door just creak open?

Ah, for Christ's sake. Is that a goddamned monster in my closet again?

What is it with these son of a bitch monsters? Every night with the creaking and the crawling. Enough, already, will ya? Give it a rest! Look, I've brushed my teeth, I've put on my jammies, Mommy's tucked me in—I'm all ready for beddy-bye here, for crying out loud. And now I have to lie here in the darkness like a putz and wait for some stupid monster to tear me limb from limb? Give me a break!

No, see, this makes me really mad. I have eight measly hours every night to get some sleepy-time before I have to get up and catch the school bus. I need my goddamned rest, okay? I'm not kidding around. I got enough problems with math class, I don't need to sit here in the pitch dark and deal with this monster garbage.

What, do I have a sign on my back that says "Terrify me?" It never ends with this crap.

Ah, great. Did something just move under my bed? Christ, is the monster down there now? Goddammit. I am actually getting legitimately furious right now. No, no, go ahead, monster. Get comfortable. Don't mind me, I'll just be up here trembling in mortal terror. Unbelievable. I swear to God, if it weren't for the fact that you'd grab my ankles and pull me under the bed the second my feet hit the floor, I'd be out the door, pal. Lickety-split. Because I don't need this aggravation.

Well, well, well—look at that. I wet my jammies. That's just terrific. You happy now, you sick bastard? Now it's gonna get all over the bed and I'll have to lie in a pool of my own urine like some kind of barnyard animal. What a night.

You know what? Forget this. I'm calling in the big guns:

Mommy? Daddy?

Oh, what a surprise, they can't hear me. Shocker. It's not like they're three rooms away or anything! Boy, I wish someone was filming this, I really do. Just so they could see what an absolute nightmare my life is right now: It's the middle of the goddamned night, I'm soaked in my own piss, I got a frickin' monster under my bed waiting to eat me, and now Mommy and Daddy are out cold like someone konked them over their heads with an 80-pound Valium. I am ready, Lord. Take me now.

Should have set that goddamned monster trap. Stupid idiot. What the hell was I thinking? I had the pots and pans and the twine, why didn't I set the trap? See, this is exactly why nothing ever gets done around here. I always start a project, but I never finish th—GAH! Son of a bitch! Something just touched my toe! Something definitely just touched my toe! What kind of an asshole would do that? That's it, I've had it with these monsters. Honestly, what's next? Am I going to cry now? Is that what's happening? Yup, here come the waterworks. Right on time. Jesus H. Christ, I am losing it, man. I am totally losing it.

Ah, nuts to this, I'm going under the damned covers! You want me, you prick, you can come and get me!

(from theoinon.com)

Well... If you're broke and need some shoe repair, look no further than the "Do It Yourself (well sort of) Shoe Repair" course at the University of Serxy Druck Heo. (OR UofSDH for short)

Step one: find a broken ass shoe that needs fixing.
Step two: Take a picture of the area where the shoe needs repair to post it on your blog.

Step three: Go to the Dollar Store and spend 1.25$ on heavy black rubber gloves.
Step four: cut out the shape you will need to fix one or both shoes.


Step five: Apply contact cement (also from the dollar store) to the area of the shoe that needs fixing and apply the rubber cutout of the glove mentioned in steps four and five.

Step Six: After pressing hard on the contact cement and the rubber for about three minutes the patch should look like this.

Step seven: To the naked eye your shoe will look perfectly normal, only you will know that you paid 2.25$ for halfassed repairs as opposed to 20$ from your local shoe repair shop.
Step eight: Don't tell your friends because well, let's face it. DYI shoe repair might possibly be the most ghetto thing in the universe to do. On the flipside, you might wanna tell your friends because it might get you some well deserved street cred... I doubt it, but it's worth a shot.

Well kids, that concludes today's lesson. I hope you have all learned something valuable here today. I know I didn't.

MUCHACHO ENFERMO

Everyone Outraged Catholic Priest Did That Thing Everyone Jokes About

WASHINGTON—Following revelations last week that priests in Wisconsin and Italy were responsible for molesting more than 250 young deaf boys, millions around the country expressed shock and outrage over the very thing they had been endlessly milking as a source of humor for the past 10 years. "I am stunned and disgusted that this incredibly abhorrent thing that I was just joking with a coworker about the other day has actually occurred," Seattle resident Jess Voigt said. "Even though I have been humorously referring to this particular subject almost nonstop for the past decade, I am absolutely blindsided by this unexpected and disturbing news." Members of the American populace vowed to shake their heads and drop the subject from their ribald office banter for at least two weeks before drawing on these unfortunate events to make approximately 13 million more jokes about choirboys. (From theonion.com)

Letter D- "Drunk"

1->When you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

-arrrrrrggggg! (like a pirate but in more pain)

2->A word defining a person who has had too much alcohol. See also: hammered, sloshed, shit-faced, tanked, blitzed, bombed, wrecked, three sheets to the wind, drunkened, loose, tipsy, defcon 1, well-done, trashed, jagged up, Irish, canned, smashed, fucked-up, intoxicated, inebriated, aniahalated, laced, (etc.)

-Every weekend, Dan gets (insert word here), and pisses people off.

3->Chemically incovienenced

-"i'm not drunk i'm chemically incovienieced and your bestest friend in the whole world ever"

4->A sublime way of existing in a world full of idiots.

-If I wasn't so drunk you would look stupid dancing to that house music shit!

5->an acquaintance,usually a family member who can`t function w/or without a drink.
A person with a disease Known as alcoholism.An every day routine that is socially unacceptable.

-MOM!How come DAD always pisses in the refridgerater when he staggers home at 2 AM?

6->Past tense of "drink".

-You drunk my beer!

7->Spinning without moving.

-I am drunker than fuck right now!

well this is all for today...